Dear Carolyn: I fully acknowledge this is a stupid problem but here goes. My husband and son 7 LOVE any kind of game. At first so did I but not now. What usually happens is those two collude against me and I lose almost every time. There’s a particular card game where if those two individually take certain actions I’m guaranteed to lose. Both of these actions occur at the beginning of the game so I don’t have a chance before I’ve taken my first turn. The whole experience is ruined if I …
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By Abigail Van Buren: DEAR ABBY: A mother wrote in complaining because her husband would never let their eight-year-old son win at Monopoly or chess and you agreed that the father was right. Let’s put the shoe on the other foot. Years ago I used to play dominoes with my father who was then getting on in years and not as sharp as he used to be. I could have beaten him every time if I had wanted to but I often let him beat me. I can still recall the look of pleasure on his face when he’d win. You said a child should learn to accept defeat with grace and good sportsmanship until he develops the skill to win fairly and squarely. But in the meantime the boy is apt to think of his father as a merciless machine that runs over him with all the grace of a bulldozer. GOOD JUDGMENT [I HOPE] DEAR JUDGMENT: Letting Papa win at dominoes isn’t the same as letting Junior win Children are not easily fooled and it’s more confidence shattering to suspect that Daddy is letting them win. But read on for a better solution. DEAR ABBY: You missed the obvious answer to Mother who thought Father should let their eight-year-old win once in a while. Let Dad play with a handicap! Handicaps are used by pros and amateurs to even the odds in all kinds of games. Sure the son needs to learn how to accept defeat with grace but losing all the time is no fun and it only teaches discouragement. I’ve been playing games with my seven-year-old son for years and we both play to win because I take a handicap. As his skill increases my handicap decreases. Accept defeat gracefully Abby and tell Dad to even up the game by using this suggestion. |